There is nothing better than a good friend

I've often joked (or at least I like to claim I'm joking) that I'm not sure what relationships are for. I see boyfriends as a bit of an inconvenience. I mean, they do things like share their flu, require you to meet their extended family twice removed and eat sensible meals at a sensible time (no more emergency cornflakes at 10pm). I could go on. I won't. You might start to think I'm not kidding.

Last week I went to the cosy little pub in my parent's village with a good friend. Drinking nothing more potent than diet coke I laughed until my sides hurt. We prattled on until we were the last people in the pub and the staff were waiting to go home (probably wondering why they were being paid to wait on 2 individuals who clearly only intended to part with a pitiful amount of coinage in order to fuel their evening). By the time we bumbled out I was quite high on endorphins (which was lucky as it proofed me against the heavy rain) and my cheerfulness carried over into the following day. I swear, if any guy can make me laugh this much, I'll put aside everything I wrote in that first paragraph. He can have a second date regardless of all other flaws*.

* Unless he doesn't want one, in which case, I'll have escaped this rash promise with my freedom and flu-free status in tact.

Specsavers are trialling a new way of boosting customer confidence

If the first trip to Specsavers was odd, the second one was at least as surprising. When I went to pick up my glasses little did I know that the sight of me in my new frames would be the least of my worries.

The guy that was fitting them for me was clearly not an optician himself, maybe an aspiring one. He was chatty though, what was my name, how old was I, what were my hobbies…(Crikey, he’s been well trained in making small talk. I tried to help him out by returning his questions)…where do I work, am I single? (Shit,) If I’m honest (which I am), then I am single. “Oh,” he said, “I’m surprised”. How on earth am I supposed to respond to that?! Here are a few options:

          ‘Oh yes, I’m surprised too’

          ‘If you knew me you wouldn’t be surprised’

          ‘No really, I prefer it that way, it’s more convenient’

I hate to say it but I went for the latter. I just didn’t have time to think of anything better! If anyone does know what the correct answer to this question is I’d love to know! I left pretty rapidly after this, which was unfortunate as I was there for a reason (to get my glasses adjusted to fit my face) and forgot about it in my haste to leave. Within 24 hours I was forced to admit that this was an important part of the process and now I have to book a repeat appointment for the following weekend. This is super awkward.

Surprised by my drunken self

I got an email at work today from a chap I don't know called Mark. Apparently I'd given him my company email address (not sure why!) on Saturday night while quite drunk and he also appeared to be under the impression I'd instructed him to use it in order to start a game of noughts and crosses. Better still, he clearly felt some need to tell me that his name wasn't Hector (I didn't like to ask why!) It's just not the sort of thing you expect to catch up with you at work on a Tuesday afternoon! I think maybe I put 'noughts and crosses' next to my name in his phone as a reminder of who I was as we had just played a game on a big toy set in a children's playground (which is where the (now not so literally located) house party had ended up). Looking back, the fact that I then asked to borrow his jeans in order to climb a large plastic palm tree, before magnanimously giving him my dress in exchange when he agreed, probably made me a little more memorable still. I hadn't thought of that. Remembering this, I put my cross in bottom left. It's the least I could do.