Be a tourist in your own city...but don't visit tower bridge

Tower Bridge is one of London's greatest landmarks and worst tourist attractions. Can someone please shut down its visitor centre to save Londoners the embarrassment?

The view from the top is similar to any other bridge in London, only you pay £9 for the privilege

You might think that its overpriced views are excusable, and that interesting information on the famous structure would more than compensate. Yes, I thought  that too, only it turns out there wasn't any!!

There are a limited number of facts provided, but the staff haven't managed to memorise them yet in order to impart the knowledge to guests. One member told us that 4 million rivets were used in the making of the bridge. A second told us there were only 2 million used. Frankly I didn't care how many rivets had been used until it dawned on me that I was standing on a bridge with 2 million of them missing!

The exhibition feels like it has been made by someone who doesn't like Tower Bridge very much and doesn't want to draw any attention to it. I can't help but wonder if some of the displays were actually donated by another museum that was having a clear out. Subjects include: the role of institutions in London; the role of Women in London; the role of Philanthropy in London. We already have Wikipedia for this and it's free!

Throughout the exhibition there is an evident determination not to tell you anything about the landmark that you have come to see. Makers of the exhibition are so desperate to achieve this that they have resorted to listing the types of fish in the Thames. Not depicting them. Not describing or conveying any type of information. Just listing the names of the fish. In Latin and in English

There is a quiz machine where you can chose a range of subjects. All are totally unrelated to tower bridge. e.g. The wives of Henry VIII

Happily, a little information about the bridge is provided but it is not particularly useful (or interesting!). The bridge is made of metal. Mechanical power is used to open the bridge...No shit Sherlock!

Such is their desperation not to tell you anything about tower bridge, that facts and pictures of all sorts of other bridges in the world are provided. Although information is quite brief, it is interesting and well chosen. I can't help but wonder why on earth tower bridge is not included in this display. Instead you're tantalised with all the very interesting bridges in the world which you are not currently visiting.

This is actually a real shame because the bridge should be interesting. It has some great heritage and some interesting stories. For instance a bus once jumped the gap between the two halves as it was raised unexpectedly and the driver chose to accelerate over the gap. It fell several feet and some passengers had to go to hospital but no one was seriously injured. The bus driver was given a £10 reward. There was also chaos once when Blair and Clinton crossed the bridge, but their security escort were stuck on the other side as a ship came along and the bridge was raised. Our security forces went nuts thinking that there was some kind of conspiracy to assassinate both leaders at once but the 'bridge driver' refused to lower the bridge to let them cross because 'them's the rules'. In the visitor centre both of these stories are mentioned...but in a single sentence: "a bus jumped the bridge and a president was held up". You actually learn more about the bridge by going on a tour of general London (I know this because one of my house mates was doing that that while I was in the visitor centre and he told me both stories when we got home)

There is a selfie mirror on the ceiling above the glass floor. So if that's your thing it might be a redeeming feature. Lots of people sit or lie down in order to get a better picture and it is quite amusing watching grown adults do this.

Fight through tourists to take your photo on the glass floor. For us it was Chinese, but  you can chose any type of tourist you like.

This was my favourite part of the exhibition. I have no idea what it has to do with Tower Bridge. Frankly I no longer care. As art goes, it's a fun picture.

If you are visiting London, my advice is to go on a tour of the East End's street art, make sure you try some interesting food (Ethiopian is a current favourite) and the British museum is also worth a visit. Hyde park rowing boats in summer are great. Go to parliament, watch a debate in action. Get a workout climbing the monument at monument.  Or use a discount website to get some cheap theatre tickets and make the most of the West End. There are loads of options. Just, whatever you do, don't visit Tower Bridge!